Our need for approval is so powerful that if it is not there, we become unworthy. We have lost our sense of value and self-worth by giving power to those outside sources of influence. It’s time we acknowledge our value and appreciate who we are. After all, we are all we have, and our talent depends on a positive connection to our grounded emotional vocabulary. In this episode we will try to find our way out of this common actor trait called undervalued and underappreciated.
Reasons why we seek approval:
We equate approval with success (we feel validated only when others respond positively). Remarks after the show.
We are never quite sure how we are being with others, so we seek reinforcement,
Learned at an early age the
difference between approval= love vs disapproval = unloved.
Give more power to our emotions over our intellect.
How to rephrase our need for approval:
1. Success is not from others but from the accomplishments we set for ourselves.
2. Trust our instincts more and trust our experience as legitimate. (“You are enough”!)
3. Analyze the source of every negative, non-approving moment. It is not about you.
4. Learn ways to regulate your emotions by looking at the bigger picture.
What we say to ourselves has a huge influence on how we see the world. Catching yourself when you feel yourself questioning your confidence is something we can teach ourselves. It’s a learned thing and not dependent on anyone but yourself. Finding value in yourself can project a powerful signal that will overcome even the most critical influence within our sphere. The object of your affection must start with you first followed by your talent and then those who support who you truly are. Jeffrey Dreisbach